Intersexual Dynamics 101

Intersexual Dynamics 101

In this post, we’ll provide a list of the concepts that are relevant within the context of intersexual dynamics through the lens of evolutionary phycology, along with a brief explanation of what they are, why they are important, how to apply them and when to apply them.

“Nothing in biology makes sense except in the light of evolution.” ― Theodosius Dobzhansky

“The beginning of wisdom is the definition of terms.” ― Socrates

When the man is ready, the women will come.”

Abundance Mindset

  • What? The belief that there’s always enough of something to go around.
  • Why? Prevents oneitis.
  • How? Spin plates.
  • When? Whenever appropriate.
  • Read More: Here.

“Men have a scarcity mindset to their detriment. Women have an abundance mindset to their detriment.”

Active Listening

  • What? Making a conscious effort to hear, understand and retain information.
  • Why? Women desire to be felt and understood.
  • How? Be fully present.
  • When? Whenever appropriate.

“We convince by our presence.” ― Walt Whitman

Agree & Amplify

  • What? Playfully exaggerating a statement beyond ridiculous.
  • Why? Shows indifference. Gives no power to accusations made against you. Creates disarming effect.
  • How? Deliver with a smirk and a strong sense of self-worth.
  • When? Whenever necessary.


  • What? How co-operative one is.
  • Why? Too much agreeableness signals a man is more likely to be manipulated and less likely to defend family. Too little agreeableness signals a man is likely to get into a lot of confrontations. Moderate agreeableness signals a man is less likely to be manipulated and more likely to defend family.
  • How? Moderate agreeableness.
  • When? Always.

Alpha Widow

  • What? Woman who is still fixated on a man who abandoned her.
  • Why? When a woman is attached to a man in her past, it’s harder to form healthy relationships.
  • How? Either avoid them or become a High Value Man.
  • When? Always.
  • Read More: Here.

Amused Mastery

  • What? Superior frame you hold when implying “you’ve seen it all” and thus don’t take it seriously.
  • Why? Creates Frame. Demonstrates you know what women mean whey they say/do something. Implies maturity and authority.
  • How? Done whilst rolling eyes and smirking.
  • When? Whenever appropriate.
  • Read More: Here.


  • What? Being true to yourself.
  • Why? Women are attracted to men who are unapologetically themselves.
  • How? By valuing yourself and not giving too much weight to what other people think.
  • When? Always.


  • What? How available you are.
  • Why? Too available signals over-interest and dependency. Too unavailable signals under-interest and independency.
  • How? Don’t be too available. Don’t be too unavailable. Just the right amount.
  • When? Always.


  • What? Dropping bits of information about yourself during conversation.
  • Why? Women like mystery.
  • How? Mete out your personal information to women like rewards.
  • When? Always.

Burden Of Performance

  • What? The necessity to continue to perform and grow in your masculine responsibilities.
  • Why? Demonstrates higher value.
  • How? Pursue self-mastery.
  • When? Always.
  • Read More: Here.

“The modern equivalent of ancient rites of passage is repeatedly demonstrating accomplishments.”

“Men bear the Burden Of Performance. Women bear the Burden Of Appearance.”

Closeness & Distance

  • What? The physical distance between you and a woman.
  • Why? Closeness creates connection. Distance creates desire.
  • How? Maintain a balance of closeness and distance.
  • When? Always.
  • Read More: Here.

“If a woman complains about not spending enough time together, it’s a good sign.

Command Presence

  • What? The manner in which an individual attracts attention.
  • Why? Implies respectability.
  • How? Frame.
  • When? Always.
  • Read More: Here.

“Women are attracted to men who dominate the room.”


  • What? The ability to complete something successfully.
  • Why? Competence creates confidence. Women want effective men.
  • How? Self-mastery.
  • When? Always.

Nothing is more threatening yet simultaneously attractive to a woman than a man who is aware of his own value.”

“Competence is the prerequisite to confidence.”

Competition Anxiety

  • What? The anxiety women feel knowing a man has other options.
  • Why? Signals preselection.
  • How? By signalling options.
  • When? Occasionally.

“Women want men who other men want to be and other women want to be with.”

Compliance Testing

  • What? Asking a woman to do something.
  • Why? Allows you to gauge her current level of interest.
  • How? Via “hoops” ― start small and gradually increase in size and frequency.
  • When? Whenever necessary.


  • What? Your expectation of future performance of a specific skill.
  • Why? Signals competence.
  • How? Develop and then demonstrate competency.
  • When? Always.
  • Read More: Here.

“Competence is the prerequisite to confidence.”


  • What? When your thoughts, words and actions are aligned.
  • Why? Women are wired to be repulsed by men who aren’t who they say they are.
  • How? Developing integrity.
  • When? Always.

Demonstrate, Do Not Explicate

  • What? Persuading with your actions and not your words.
  • Why? Actions speak louder than words.
  • How? Less talk. More action. Always express. Never impress. Always show. Never tell.
  • When? Always.
  • Read More: Here.

“In any social interaction, the one who is trying the least has the most social power.”

Demonstrate Higher Value

  • What? Any behaviour that conveys a higher ability to Survive & Reproduce.
  • Why? A woman’s mating strategy (hypergamy) requires a man of higher value.
  • How? Looks. Money. Status. Game.
  • When? Always.
  • Read More: Here.

A woman will only respect and submit to a man she perceives as higher value.”

A woman cannot look up to a man who is her equal.”

Fitness Tests

  • What? When a woman tests your masculinity. A woman’s way to test your boundaries.
  • Why? Passing Fitness Tests demonstrates competence.
  • How? Develop and then demonstrate characteristics associated with masculinity. Agree & Amplify. Amused Mastery.
  • When? Always.
  • Read More: Here.

Fitness tests aren’t passed, they’re capitalised on.”


  • What? Your perception of reality.
  • Why? Women instinctively desire men who can lead. Women are the reflection of their man.
  • How? Pursue excellence. Be indifferent. Don’t argue. Don’t be reactive. Don’t self-deprecate. Command respect. Never answer yes ― always answer in a way that creates frame. e.g. “You can.” Never seek a reaction.
  • When? Always.
  • Read More: Here.

As a girl falls for a guy, she’ll start realigning her interests to his.

A woman wants a bad boy with a good heart that only she can access.”

“Women don’t see men. They see worlds. Women don’t marry men. They marry lifestyles.”

“Never lean in.”

Whoever controls Frame controls the relationship.

“It’s better to win Frame and lose the woman than to lose Frame and win the woman.”


  • What? Behaviours that facilitate intersexual relations between men and women.
  • Why? Literally a survival skill. Courtship never stops.
  • How? Make it your personality.
  • When? Always.
  • Read More: Here.

Guy game is about attaining a girl. Girl game is about retaining a guy after sex.

Women would rather play the game than be told they are playing the game.

Genuine Desire

  • What? A woman’s genuine attraction for a man.
  • Why? It cannot be negotiated.
  • When? Always.
  • How? Created through game.
  • Read More: Here.

“Genuine desire is a result of uncertainty, insecurity, anxiety and tension.

Women with Genuine Desire won’t confuse you ― hypergamy cannot afford to wait. So when a high value man becomes an option, urgency and anxiety prompts rule-breaking behaviours. Women are biologically hardwired to lock down a high value man ASAP.


  • What? A woman’s innate sexual strategy of identifying and reproducing with the most competent man possible.
  • Why? Hypergamy is based on doubt which unceasingly asks one question: “Is this the best I can do?”
  • How? Demonstrate Higher Value. Burden Of Performance.
  • When? Always.
  • Read More: Here.

Women break rules for Alphas and make rules for Betas.”

Men view women as sex objects. Women view men as success objects.

“Men use relationships to get sex. Women use sex to get relationships.”


  • What: The beliefs we have about ourselves.
  • Why: We behave in a way that aligns with what others think of us.
  • How: Build her identity.
  • When: Always
  • Read More: Here.

Intermittent Rewards

  • What? Delivering rewards at irregular intervals.
  • Why? Create uncertainty and excitement by triggering the release of dopamine.
  • When? Occasionally.
  • How? Through time, energy and recourses when rewarding good behaviour.


  • What? Evolved as an adaptation to protect relationships.
  • Why? A requirement for Genuine Desire. It confirms that a woman is attracted to you.
  • How? Signalling options.
  • When? Whenever necessary.
  • Read More: Here.

“If a woman isn’t jealous of you, her investment is mitigated by a doubt that she can do better.”


  • What? Physical contact used to increase attraction.
  • Why? Elicits a biochemical reaction, including oxytocin, dopamine and endorphins.
  • How? Effective Kino is making contact seem casual and subtle without crossing boundaries.
  • When? Whenever necessary.

“A woman’s skin receptors are 10 times more sensitive than men’s, hence why they attach more importance to touch.”


  • What? The ability to guide others.
  • Why? Women evolved to be led by men.
  • How? Take control of situations. Make decisions.
  • When? Always.

Men lead. Women follow.

Loss Aversion

  • What? The fear of loss has a greater psychological impact than the desire for gain.
  • Why? A woman is motivated to work harder to protect an old investment than a new investment.
  • How? Create investment.
  • When? Always.

Medium Is The Message

  • What? How a woman communicates is more important than what.
  • Why? Women sometimes say one thing, but mean something else.
  • How? Decipher nonverbal cues and signals
  • When? Always.

Always watch what a woman does, not what she says.

Mental Point Of Origin

  • What? Putting yourself first whenever making decisions.
  • Why? Signals leadership.
  • How? Make yourself the focus of your life, not women. Pursue self-mastery.
  • When? Always.
  • Read More: Here.

You can only help others, by first helping yourself.”

Mere Exposure Effect

  • What? Tendency to develop preferences for things we are familiar with.
  • Why? The more time people spend together, the more attracted they are to eachother.
  • How? Create opportunities for a woman to spend time with you.
  • When? Always.


  • What? Evoking the desire in women to know more about you.
  • Why? Women have an innate attraction to all things mystical. Creates need for closure. Triggers the brain’s need to solve information gaps.
  • How? Never fully expose yourself. Breadcrumbs.
  • When? Always.

“The allure of mystery stems from the human need for closure.”

“Women are more attracted to men with mysterious facial expressions as opposed to friendly.”

Nonverbal Communication

  • What? Communication that involves body language.
  • Why? Determines how women perceive you. Provides you with cues of a woman’s interest level.
  • How? Embody behaviours that signal masculinity. Decipher a woman’s behaviours.
  • When? Always.
  • Read More: Here.

10 courtship gestures that women use (consciously or unconsciously) to signal interest:

  • Eye contact.
  • Smiling.
  • Tilts her head.
  • Flicks her hair.
  • Emphasises her breasts.
  • Exposes her wrists.
  • Exposes her neck.
  • Licks her lips.
  • Plays with her hair.
  • Plays with her jewellery/accessories.


  • What? An unhealthy attachment to one specific woman (results from pleasure hormones).
  • Why? There is no “one” per se.
  • How? Spin plates. Be prepared to walk away. Never pedestalize a woman.
  • When? Always.

If you treat her like a celebrity, she’ll treat you like a fan.”


  • What? Behaviours that make you stand out.
  • Why? Demonstrates higher value.
  • How? Identify your strengths and then figure out a way to amplify them.
  • When? Whenever necessary.
  • Read More: Coming soon.

The ultimate form of peacocking is having an incredible physique.”

Plate Theory

  • What? Speaking to multiple women at the same time aka “spinning plates.”
  • Why? Eliminates oneitis.
  • When? Until you’re in an exclusive relationship.

“Always covertly convey you are spinning plates.

“Women are natural plate-spinners due to hypergamic nature.”


  • What? Women are attracted to men other women are attracted to.
  • Why? Demonstrates higher value.
  • How? Associate with other women.
  • When? Whenever appropriate.
  • Read More: Here.

Women desire experienced men (preselection). Men desire inexperienced women (purity).

Women want men who other men want to be and other women want to be with.”

“Sex is a preselection signal for women as it shows a man has been able to obtain other women.”

Men are motivated by exclusivity. A married woman belongs to someone. Thus, she’s off limits as men don’t like to share. Women are motivated by preselection. A married man must have proved himself worthy. Thus, he must be a good catch.


  • What? Having a mission to pursue.
  • Why? Provides long-lasting fulfilment which overflows into other areas in your life.
  • How? Find something you can pursue long-term.
  • When? Always.
  • Read More: Here.

“A woman should be a complement to a man’s life, never the focus of it.”

Push & Pull

  • What? Displaying mixed signals ― hot and cold.
  • Why? Stimulates a woman’s emotions.
  • How? By alternating between signals of interest and disinterest.
  • When? Occasionally.


  • What? Creating a connection with someone.
  • Why? Creates familiarity and trust.
  • How? By establishing commonalities.
  • When? Always.
  • Read More: Here.


  • What? Eliciting admiration.
  • Why? A woman cannot look up to a man who is her equal.
  • How? Enforcing boundaries. Demonstrating higher value.
  • When? Always.

“A woman who does not respect her men, instinctively knows she cannot lover her man.”

“Respect is the currency of men. Attention is the currency of women.”


  • What? How available something is.
  • Why? Women value scarcity. Women are most attracted to men whose love and attention they have to work for. Women need to feel like they needed to earn a man’s interest. Women only value what they work for.
  • How? Limit time and energy.
  • When? Whenever necessary.

“Always be the first to end interactions and leave on a cliff-hanger high.”

Sexual Market Value

  • What? Your attraction towards the opposite sex.
  • Why? Important to constantly optimise.
  • How? Pursue self-mastery.
  • When? Always.
  • Read More: Here.

Sexual Polarity

  • What? The polarity between masculine and feminine energy.
  • Why? Polarity creates passion. Opposites attract.
  • How? Increase masculine energy.
  • When? Always.
  • Read More: Here.

A man wants a woman who makes him feel like a man. A women wants a man who makes her feel like a woman.

Social Proof

  • What? Evidence that other people value you highly.
  • Why? Demonstrates higher value.
  • How? Create opportunities to show people respect you.
  • When? Always.


  • What? Acting without planning.
  • Why? Creates anxiety and excitement by triggering the release of dopamine.
  • How? Through surprise.
  • When? Whenever necessary.


  • What? What you are and what you are not willing to tolerate.
  • Why? Women are most loyal to a man who sets and enforces boundaries and discipline on them.
  • How? Set and consistently enforce clear boundaries and do not compromise on them.
  • When? Always.

“We get what we tolerate.”

“It’s better to have boundaries and lose the girl than to have no boundaries and win the girl.”

People won’t like you for your boundaries, but they will respect you for them.”


  • What? Enduring pain or hardship without the display of feelings and without complaint.
  • Why? Women are attracted to men who are in control of their reality.
  • How? Live in tune with nature. Frame. Mental, emotional and physical mastery.
  • When? Always.

“Men are turned off by women who are easy to obtain sexually. Women are turned off by men who are easy to obtain emotionally.


  • What? Physical state.
  • Why? Signals health and ability to protect and provide.
  • How? Build muscle.
  • When? Always.

“The gym is about developing your character as much as it is about developing your body. You undergo a mental, emotional, physical and spiritual transformation.”

“From an evolutionary perspective, physical health is one of the most reliable signals for overall generic fitness because it is almost impossible to fake.”

Sunk Cost Fallacy

  • What? The tendency to continue an endeavour due to past investment.
  • Why? Creates attachment.
  • How? Create investment.
  • When? Always.

The Takeaway

  • What? Remove positive stimulus.
  • Why? Way to condition behaviour.
  • How? Incentivise desired behaviours by adding rewards. Disincentivize undesired behaviours by taking away rewards.
  • When? Whenever necessary.


  • What? How unpredictable you are.
  • Why? Creates anxiety and excitement by triggering the release of dopamine.
  • How? Be unpredictable. Variable rewards.
  • When? Whenever necessary.

Never bore a woman.”

“Never be boring. Girls just wanna’ have fun.”

Verbal Communication

  • What? Communication that involves words.
  • Why? Determines how women perceive you.
  • How? Speak in a way that signals masculinity.
  • When? Always.
  • Read More: Coming soon.

“How you say something is more important then what you say.”


  • What? Exposing yourself.
  • Why? Too little signals distrust. Too much signals incompetency. Moderation creates trust and connection.
  • How? Sharing thoughts and feelings.
  • When? Selectively. When least expected.

“Women are hardwired to be repulsed by overly emotional men.”

“For women, vulnerability is a strength (sign of trust). For men, vulnerability is a weakness (sign of incompetency).


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