Push & Pull In Red Pill Dating & Relationships Explained Simply

Push & Pull (Red Pill) – All You Need To Know

In this post, we’ll unpack all you need to know about Push & Pull within the context of the Red Pill, defining exactly what it is, why it’s important, the science behind how it works, examples, how to leverage it and more.

What Is Push And Pull?

Push & Pull (P&P) is a concept often referred to within Red Pill communities that involves alternating actions which create distance and closeness.

Why Understanding Push & Pull Is Important

Understanding Push & Pull is essential for both creating and maintaining attraction.

By strategically balancing moments of pushing with moments of pulling, individuals can foster a more dynamic and engaging relationship and prevent monotony.

The Science

Push & Pull leverages two principles; sexual polarity and intermittent reinforcement.

Sexual polarity refers to the polarity between masculine and feminine energies. The bigger the polarity, the more passion and attraction there will be in a relationship.

Therefore, when applied successfully, Push & Pull can enhance the polarity between two partners and thus attraction, creating a more passionate and fulfilling relationship.

Intermittent reinforcement is a psychological principle where unpredictable rewards lead to increased attachment and engagement.

When someone experiences “pull” (increased attention), dopamine levels increase, leading to a sense of reward, pleasure and motivation. When someone experiences “push” (decreased attention), cortisol levels increase, leading to a sense of urgency and desire for the reward to return.

This cyclical fluctuation of dopamine and cortisol increases desire and reinforces attachment and engagement which ultimately enhances the relationship.


The goal of pushing is to engage in actions that create distance and disconnection. Pushing generates uncertainty and builds tension. Examples of pushing include facing away from someone and withdrawing attention.


The goal of pulling is to engage in actions that create closeness and connection. Pulling generates uncertainty and releases tension. Examples of pulling include facing towards someone and giving attention.

Pushing & Pulling Table Summary

Creates distance.Creates closeness.
Creates disconnection.Creates connection.
Builds tension.Releases tension.
Creates uncertaintyCreates certainty.

How To Leverage Push & Pull

There are three keys to leveraging Push & Pull.

Firstly, alternate regularly between pushing and pulling to maintain balance. Too much pushing creates too much uncertainty and discomfort. Too much pulling creates too much certainty and comfort.

Secondly, be authentic and ensure that your actions are a genuine reflection of your personality.

Thirdly, pay attention to how the other person responds to your actions and adjust your approach accordingly.

When applied in a healthy way, P&P is playful. When applied in an unhealthy way, P&P is manipulation.

Summary (TL;DR)

Push & Pull is a concept that involves alternating actions which create distance (pushing) and closeness (pulling).

P&P is essential to creating and maintaining attraction and preventing a relationship from monotony.

The three keys to P&P is ensuring a balance between both pushing and pulling, authenticity and responding appropriately to the actions of one’s partner.


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