In this post, we’ll unpack all you need to know about social exchange theory, defining exactly what it is, how it relates to our evolution, how it impacts romantic relationships, how to leverage it and more.
What Is Social Exchange Theory?
Social Exchange Theory (SET) proposes that individuals decide whether a relationship (whether personal or professional) is worth pursuing after a rational calculation of the costs and benefits.
The Evolutionary Lens
From an evolutionary perspective, humans evolved to minimise costs and maximise benefits.
Therefore, humans are hardwired to move towards people with positive social value (when the benefits received in an interaction are perceived to outweigh the costs) and move away from people with negative social value (when the costs received in an interaction are perceived to outweigh the benefits).
There are three types of people: givers, takers and reciprocators.
How It Impacts Romantic Relationships
Social Exchange Theory assumes that social interactions are a series of exchanges. Individuals in a relationship hope to benefit as much as possible with as little cost as possible. If the benefits are worth the costs, a relationship tends to be long-lasting.
Individuals use past and present relationship experiences as a reference for comparison to evaluate potential alternatives. Thus, if someone else appears to be able to fulfil the needs of an individual more than a current partner, then that individual may choose to exit that relationship.
If the benefits outweigh the costs, then the relationship is perceived as worth pursuing and is likely to last. If the costs outweigh the benefits, then the relationship is perceived as not worth pursing and is unlikely to last.
How To Leverage The Social Exchange Theory
There are two key ways to leverage the Social Exchange Theory, in both personal and professional relationships.
The first is to to ensure you give more than you take. The second is to seek win-win situations where everyone in an interaction benefits. When successful, the people you interact with will perceive the relationship to be rewarding. They will therefore will be motivated for continued engagement.
“You shall have just balances, just weights, a just ephah, and a just hin: I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt.” ― Leviticus 19:36. In this verse, God demands a fair and accurate ex-change, one that gives as much value as it receives. A trade pleasing to God benefits both parties of the exchange.
Summary (TL;DR)
Social Exchange Theory proposes that social behaviour is the result of an exchange process. People attempt to maximise rewards and minimise costs and therefore people pursue relationships where the benefits outweigh costs.
The key to leveraging this phenomenon is to ensure you always give more than you take and to pursue win-win relationships. As a result, those you interact with will perceive the relationship as rewarding and therefore will be motivated for continued engagement.
