The Fundamental Needs Of Men & Women In Relationships

The 3 Fundamental Needs Of Men & Women In Relationships

Understanding how men and women determine their success and self-worth in relationships is essential for not only helping you better get the support necessary to meet your own needs, but also in allowing you to better support the needs of your partner, leading to a happier, more loving and more fulfilling relationship.

It’s A Matter Of Evolution

In order to gain insight into what makes men and women feel successful and confident in the context of relationships we can look at our evolutionary history.

Historically, a man’s success was determined by his ability to provide for his family and his self-worth was measured by the woman’s appreciation for his efforts. A woman’s success was determined by her ability to nurture the family and her self-worth was measured by the man’s appreciation for her efforts.

While more men are taking on traditionally female-oriented roles and more women are taking on traditionally male-oriented roles, both sexes are still biologically hardwired for the same fundamental wants and needs.

The 3 Fundamental Needs Of Men

Men are mission-oriented and so their sense of self comes from their ability to succeed. Therefore, the three fundamental needs of men are to feel trusted, needed and appreciated.

When a man feels trusted, needed and appreciated, his levels of testosterone (a hormone associated with masculinity, power and strength) increase which makes him feel successful and ignites his masculine energy. When a man is connected to his masculine core, that is when he is at his best.

However, when a man doesn’t feel trusted, needed or appreciated, his levels of testosterone decrease, he will feel like his woman doesn’t love him and thus he will feel rejected which may cause her to withdraw. A man is happiest when his woman is happy. Thus, a man may leave a woman when he feels like whatever he does for her isn’t enough.

Here are 3 statements a woman can make to increase a man’s testosterone levels:

  • That makes sense!
  • What a great idea!
  • You’re right!

The 3 Fundamental Needs Of Women

Women are relationship-oriented and so their sense of self comes from their ability to connect. Therefore, the three fundamental needs of woman are to feel seen, safe and understood.

When a woman feels seen, safe and understood, her levels of oestrogen (a hormone associated with femininity) and oxytocin (a hormone associated with love and bonding) increase which makes her feel connected and ignites her feminine energy. When a woman is connected to her feminine core, that is when she is at her best.

However, when a woman doesn’t feel like she is seen, safe or understood, her levels of oestrogen and oxytocin decrease, she will feel like her man doesn’t love her and thus she will feel rejected which may cause her to withdraw. A woman may leave a man when she is emotionally unfulfilled.

Here are 3 statements a man can make to increase a woman’s oestrogen levels:

  • What else?
  • Will you tell me more about that?
  • Will you help me understand that better?

Work & Relationships

Studies show than 70-80% of men believe that the most important part of their lives is their work and 70-80% of women believe that the most important part of their lives is their family. Thus, if a man is unhappy at work, he can’t focus on his relationships and if a woman is unhappy in her relationships, she can’t focus on her work.

Summary

A man will feel successful and confident when he feels trusted, needed and appreciated by his woman. A woman will feel successful and confident when she feels seen, safe and understood by her man.

Understanding how men and women determine their success and self-worth will allow you to better meet your own needs and better meet your partner’s needs, resulting in more happiness, love and fulfilment in your relationship.

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