9 Master Steps For Creating Lasting Change

Points To Remember

  • All stages must be done under rapport.
    • When you lose rapport, you must gain it back immediately.
  • Source of all problems is always emotional pattern of physiology, focus or language.
  • Before helping anyone change, ask yourself three questions:
    • What does this person really need and want?
    • What is preventing them from getting it?
      • What state are they in?
      • What is their Model Of The World?
    • How can you get them to where they want to be?
  • Always come from a place of curiosity not judgment.

1)   Understand & Appreciate Their World

  • Model Of The World – what drives them?
    • Force 1 (Motive) – Driving Force: 6 Human Needs
    • Force 2 (Meaning) – Guiding Force: Rules
    • Force 3 (Emotions) – Fuel Of Choice: Where you live.
  • Driving Force: 6 Human Needs – What needs are they trying to meet? Top 2? Sequence?
    • Security: Need to avoid pain and the desire to gain pleasure.
    • Novelty: Need for the unknown, for surprise and for new stimulation.
    • Significance: Need to feel seen, special and wanted.
    • Love & Connection: Need to feel loved and to form bonds with others.
    • Growth: Need to developing ourselves mentally, physically and spiritually.
    • Contribution: Need to help and add value to others.
  • What determines how their needs are met?
    • Beliefs
      • What is life about?
    • Identity
    • Values: States move away from (avoid pain) or toward (gain pleasure) given context.
      • Toward Values: “What’s important to you about [insert context]?”
      • Away From Values: “What’s something you would do anything to avoid?”
    • Rules
      • Determine decision about what behaviour to utilise to experience values.
        • Some have higher priority because violating them causes more pain.
      • Threshold: Must/Must Always/Must Not/Must Never
      • Personal Standards: Should/Should Always/Should Not/Should Never
      • Possibility/Impossibility: Can/Can Always/Cannot/Can Never
      • Rules Of Intention: Will/Will Not/Will Never/Will Always
    • Vehicles: How person attempts to meet their needs (positive/negative/neutral)
    • Metaprograms
      • Toward/Away
      • External/Internal Frame Of Reference
      • Sorting By Self/Sorting By Others
      • Matcher/Mismatcher
      • Convincer/Strategy
      • Possibility/Necessity
      • Independent, Cooperative & Proximity Working Styles
    • Fuel Of Choice
      • What emotions do you experience most often?
      • How many emotions do you experience a week?
  • Who’s love did you crave the most as a child?
    • What did you have to be for them?
      • Rejection breeds obsession.

2)   Create Leverage

  • Find the leverage that meets their needs, Model Of The World and beliefs.
    • Pain-Associating Questions – What has, is and will it cost you?
    • Questions Demonstrating Inconsistency – Does someone wants live long life smoke?
    • Pleasure Associating Questions – What will you gain and get?
  • All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in belief.
    • Associate maximum pain with old disempowering belief.
    • Associate maximum pleasure with new empowering belief.
  • Keep plugging away until you find leverage. “If at first you don’t succeed…”

3)   Break Patterns

  • All change is nothing but the continuous breaking of patterns.
  • 3 patterns to break:
    • Physiology
    • Focus
    • Language
  • Framing (Pre-framing, Re-framing & De-framing).
    • Questions
  • Language (Gross, Sexual, Humorous, Confusing, Overload, Weird Expressions & Sounds)
  • Questions – the more outrageous/unexpected the more effective.
  • Cold water therapy.
  • Look for leverage.

4)   Re-frame Problem In Solvable Terms

  • Key is to define the real root problem in a way that can be easily understood and solved.
  • Focus on the outcome instead of the problem.
  • Define what is lost – what need or feelings needs to be restored?
    • Look for what is really obstructing them – not what they think is.
  • Look for leverage.
  • Questions
    • What can I learn from this?
  • Primary Question

“Pattern recognition is power.”

5)   Create Empowering Alternatives

  • All behaviour is an attempt to meet one or more needs.
  • Old behaviour must be replaced with new behaviour.
  • Identity new empowering behaviours that they can embody.
    • Thoughts, feelings, actions, habits, beliefs etc.
  • Recall/think back to past moment of empowerment.
    • How can we achieve that feeling again?
  • Anchoring.

6)   Condition New Behaviour

  • Find ways to anchor it into new way to life.
  • Visualisation.
  • Goal cards.
  • Incantations.

7)   Create Empowering Environment

  • Engineer the environment in a way that supports the new behaviour.
  • Need to be strong enough that new behaviour can be performed in harshest environment.
  • Peer & Mastermind groups.

8)   Connect To Higher Purpose

  • “Who/What’s the most important thing in your life?”
    • “How would it make them feel if you…?”
  • Demonstrate how change relates to what they value most.
  • Create compelling future.
  • Primary source of love is biggest leverage in shifting long-term behaviour.
  • Focus on Growth and Contribution.

9)   Future Pace

  • Ask questions to ensure they are emotionally associated and committed.
    • If not, go back to steps 1 and 2 and ensure you’re using what’s important to them.
  • Label New State
    • Cements new identity in consciousness.
    • Labelling old disempowering states way of disassociating from old identity.
      • “Who was that pussy I was talking to at the beginning?”
        • “Give him a name so I know who he was.”

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again.” — William Edward Hickson

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